This is it.  The is the Big One.  This is the End of the Road.  After over ten years being known as downtown theatre's best-known and most-loved purveyor of live B-Movie mayhem and stage adaptations of cinema's most notorious cult classics, DMTheatrics director Frank Cwiklik is indulging in what may be the most audacious and ambitious numbskull idea he's yet had -  a binge-and-purge festival of five, count 'em, five Ed Wood messterpieces adapted for the stage, an all-out assault on the sensitivies and patience on the fans and audiences that have made DMT the biggest little theater company below 14th Street.

“They want Ed Wood shows from me?  Fine, choke on this, you heartless monsters,” sobbed Cwiklik, sitting fully clothed under a running shower in the basement men's room of the cavernous DMTheatrics laboratories.  Having recently obliterated box office records with the legendary mashup Two Gentlemen of Lebowski, and playing to sold out houses at the Brick with Plan Nine From Outer Space!: Alive on Stage, Cwiklik now turns his sights once again to the man some call an accidental genius and others the worst director in movie history, Edward D. Wood,
Jr.  Having made his alleged reputation a decade ago by co-producing the original Ed Fest with Ian W. Hill at the late, lamented Todo Con Nada, he now shamelessly returns to the well with this mammoth and probably ill-advised festival, which mounts five of the notorious screen legend's works:

• BRIDE OF THE MONSTER, a chilling and thrilling mad scientist epic, in which a disgraced mad scientist harnesses atomic energy to create a race of superbeings
• NIGHT OF THE GHOULS, the grisly sequel, in which a devious con man gets more than he bargained for when he uses the late madman's castle for his fake seances-- which may be raising the deal for real!
• THE VIOLENT YEARS, a cautionary tale of juvenile delinquency, chronicling the increasingly ugly escapades of disaffected teen girls on a rampage of sex and violence
• HOT ICE, a sexy and saucy crime caper involving a glamourous couple of con artists, a very wealthy rock star, a ski lodge battle between the snobs and the slobs, and the hotel manager stuck in the middle
• THE SINISTER URGE!, the triumphant and contractually obligated return of one of DMT's biggest comedy hits, starring clumsy cops, sneaky smut peddlers, the girl next door, and a buxom crime boss

In addition, there will be screenings of some of Wood's rarer works, a night of Ed-themed burlesque, special events, a retrospective of past DMT B-movie stage shows, and more!  Plus the return of DMTheatrics Managing Director and acclaimed downtown comedienne Michele Schlossberg in her signature role of Gloria Henderson, the crime boss with the mostest, appearing onstage for the first time in nearly five years.

Joining Cwiklik in this foolhardy and potentially fatal endeavor are some of the rising stars of downtown theater and performers who have appeared in recent DMT smashes, including Two Gentlemen of Lebowski's Maude Lebowski and Kate in DMT's recent acclaimed Taming of the Shrew, Brianna Tyson;  Josh Potter, also of DMT's recent Shrew staging, as were fellow thespians Joshua B. Schwartz and Michelle Polera, also appearing in this festival.  Eros in DMT's smash hit Plan Nine, Craig Kelton Peterson, also appeared in the smash hit Lebowski mashup and is returning for this final Ed goround, along with Lindsay Carter, improv comedienne par excellence, also late of Shrew and Plan Nine;  and Adam Files, last appearing in DMT's Bible and Wine as well as the ubiquitous Plan Nine.  They will be joined by occasional guest stars in key roles in some shows, such as Internet After Dark host and Plan Nine narrator Douglas Mackrell, putting his unique stamp on the role of Johnny Ride in The Sinister Urge!

Making these shows especially attractive to collectors and OCD trainspotter types is that they are all, effectively, limited editions – these shows will each have only FOUR public performances apiece during the festival, and seating in the Red Room is limited.  Also, and most critically, THESE ARE THE LAST TIME DMTHEATRICS WILL BE STAGING ED WOOD SHOWS IN NEW YORK CITY.  Anyone who want a last chance to see Cwiklik's infamous take on this material, or to see a DMT Ed show in general, THIS IS IT.  This will also be the last chance to see Michele Schlossberg in her signature role on the New York stage.  “How do ya like them apples,” added Cwiklik, ducking into an unmarked van that peeled off into oncoming traffic.